Howl
by Marie Goos
Summary: How Remus became a werewolf, and lived with it, through the eyes of his father.


Well... Half-Blood Prince was a little upsetting, to say the least. However, it inspired me to write this. I'd come up with the characters for Remus' parents and I've been itching to write Randolf for like... A million years. Anyway, this contains SPOILERS for HBP, so don't read if you don't want to be spoiled. Disclaimer: JK's one bad mother... Shut yo' mouth! (I'm just talkin' 'bout JK!) 

- - - - - - 

**Howl**

_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..._

_- The Beatles_   
- - - - - -

Randolf Lupin sat in the shabby two-roomed shack he was currently living in with his wife and young son. One room was a bedroom, and the other doubled as a kitchen and sitting room; there was no bathroom. To them, though, it was luxury, and Randolf felt extremely lucky that they hadn't needed to camp out, as had been the case for the past month. It was excruciating, having to watch his currently sick wife and his son, still only a toddler, having to sleep outside on the ground.

That was going to change, though. A bounty head had just been set, by the Ministry of Magic, no less. Wanted, dead or alive, a dangerous werewolf named... Fenrir Greyback. It reminded him of the stories his father had told him by the light of their campfire; stories about the fierce god... Norse, was it? Anyway, it was a god named Fenrir, who took the form of a wolf. He wondered if all werewolves had names like that; then again, he himself had a name related to wolves, as did his son, and neither of them experienced any monthly changes.

That brought him to the consideration that maybe this particular bounty would be much more dangerous than all the others. He'd never dealt with a werewolf before, and had no idea what they were like outside the influence of a full moon. He'd heard the stories, though; the man intentionally attacked people, especially children, and showed no remorse. Whatever the danger, he would kill the man and collect the bounty in order to give his family a better life. A man like that, after all, was far too dangerous to be left alive.

"Daddy?"

Randolf looked up from the knot in the kitchen table that he'd been staring at; his son was standing in the doorway to the bedroom. "Remus," he sighed warmly, feeling a smile creep across his face. "What are you doing up so late?" He'd meant for it to be an admonishment, but he could never be in a foul mood around his son.

"I gotta go," Remus complained, dancing about a little. "An' Mommy's sleeping."

Randolf laughed at the comical display; he shouldn't have been surprised, of course. Remus _was_ only five years old, after all. "Alright," he replied, groaning as he stood up. "I'll take you."

Remus ran to his side and tightly gripped his hand, tugging at it in order to lead him out the front door. "Gotta go," he muttered, still sounding rather groggy.

"Come on, then." Randolf picked him up, carrying him to the edge of the woods outside; they had no outhouse. There was no need for one, anyway; it was just a hole in the ground, after all. He set Remus down, watching him pad hastily off to a nearby bush.

"Daddy?" Remus twitched a bit, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes.

"What is it?" Randolf stepped forward, momentarily alarmed.

"Don't look."

"Alright," he replied, holding back another laugh as he turned around; he'd forgotten how shy Remus could be, sometimes. He supposed it was a result of moving around so much, since he never had a chance to make any friends his own age. "Remus!" he called out, a story he thought that his son would enjoy suddenly coming to mind.

"Not done!" Remus practically shrilled, probably worried that his father was looking.

"I just wanted to tell you a story."

"Not done!" Remus persisted.

"I'll wait, then." Randolf was never more amused with his son than at these kinds of times. It was especially cute when Remus began humming "Tiptoe Through the Tulips," unable to remember the words.

After several minutes, Remus finally came trotting up to him, holding out his hands. "Ew," was all he said.

Randolf understood immediately, escorting Remus inside to wash his hands.

"Tell me the story," Remus demanded, once his hands were washed and dried.

"It'll be a bedtime story," Randolf replied, picking him up to carry him to bed. "I was ten when it happened, and traveling through eastern Asia with my father at the time..." Randolf extinguished the single oil lamp in the room, heading for bed.

There really was nothing in the world that he loved more than his family.

- - - - - -

Randolf exited the butcher's shop, having just received a very valuable tip. His bounty- Fenrir, it was- had been in the area recently, and was looking very hungrily at some large steaks... As well as the butcher's little daughter. He was glad, seeing as it was the reason he'd come to the village in the first place. However, he was running out of time. He wanted to have his family safely out of the area before the full moon had come.

In any case, the butcher had told him that the man seemed to be living near the shop, which had been a huge help. All he had left to do was to track him down. It would be best to approach him during the daytime; he suspected that the pull of the moon was most likely stronger during the nighttime.

Unfortunately, his tracking efforts didn't really lead him anywhere. It was with heavy feet and an ominous feeling regarding the full moon that he returned home. His wife was there, cooking dinner (cabbage stew, as usual) as Remus played at her feet. "Don't track mud," she warned him, without turning around.

"Sorry," he muttered, kicking his shoes off. "So, Madelyn... How were the reading lessons today?"

"Alright, I suppose," she sighed. "It's just... I don't know how advanced Remus is supposed to be at this point, and all we have are your grandfather's old medical journals for him to read."

"I know," he replied, kissing her on the cheek and ruffling Remus' hair. "What did you learn today?" he asked cheerfully.

"Booby cancer," Remus replied nonchalantly.

"'Booby cancer?'" Randolf repeated, raising his eyebrows.

"Well," Madelyn reminded him, "they _are_ medical journals."

"Right."

"Stew's ready," Madelyn announced, spooning it out into bowls.

"Mommy?" Remus inquired as he hoisted himself into his chair, the least rickety of the three.

"Yes, sweetiepie?" she asked, placing a bowl of stew in front of him.

"What did you do before you married Daddy?"

"What do you mean, honey?" She finished setting the table and sat down to eat.

"Well, right now you're my mommy. What were you before?"

"I was a waitress." She slurped down a spoonful of stew. "I served people their drinks and food at a pub. That's where I met your daddy."

"Really?"

"Actually," she replied slowly, "I met him a little bit before that. You see, he had the nerve to pick my pocket."

"What did he pick it for?" Remus asked innocently.

"Picking a pocket means that you're stealing money out of someone's pocket." She smiled warmly, while Randolf spluttered.

"Now wait just one minute!" he protested.

"You're lucky you were cute," she teased with a feeble cough, "or I'd have never gone out with you."

"I saved your life and- what do you mean I _was_ cute?"

Remus giggled. "You're still cute, Daddy."

"That's right," Madelyn agreed. "Very cute."

"Hmph." Randolf leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

"Ooh!" Remus raised his hand.

"Yes, son?"

"Where do babies come from?" he asked enthusiastically.

"What?" Randolf felt himself turning red.

Madelyn was shaking in silent laughter as she tried to keep from spitting stew out all over the table.

"You and Mommy made me together, right?" Remus continued. "Did it take a lot of tries?"

"I- er- ah-" Randolf spluttered, unable to find the proper wording. "What have you been _learning?_"

Cabbage stew began to spurt out of Madelyn's nose. "Ow, ow!" she coughed as she finally gave in and spat the rest of it out.

"This is no laughing matter," Randolf insisted sternly as Madelyn began mopping stew off the table, while Remus giggled and clapped his hands. "He's only five! He's not old enough to know _that_ sort of thing."

"I'll take care of it," she sighed. "Seeing as you're so embarrassed."

"I'm not-"

"Listen, Remus. When a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much, they take off all their clothes and kiss and hug very tightly. Then, a baby starts growing in the Mommy's stomach. It lives there for nine months, until it's finally ready to come out, and that's when a baby is born."

"That's how I was made?" Remus asked incredulously, apparently amazed.

"Yup."

"Ewwwww!"

Randolf couldn't help but join in with Madelyn's good-natured laughter; Remus merely looked puzzled.

- - - - - -

"So, you're Fenrir Greyback?"

"Yep." The man had matted grey hair and whiskers, with long, yellow nails. He looked more animalistic than Randolf had expected.

"Well, then..." Randolf paused to take out his kodachi, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. He was, admittedly, nervous. It was the first werewolf that he'd ever encountered, and the man looked like a brick wall. Besides that, he wasn't exactly the _best_ bounty hunter in the world, although he liked to boast otherwise. "...We'd better get this over with." He positioned himself in a fighting stance, holding out his sword.

The man, Greyback, merely stared at him.

"Well?"

Greyback let out a laugh that really sounded more like a bark. "You're coming after me with _that?_"

"What's wrong with my kodachi?" Randolf complained, admonishing himself immediately afterward for the childish comment. "That is to say... I will have no trouble cutting you down."

"I'm sure you'd like the bounty," Greyback growled, "but you don't know who you're dealing with."

"Like I haven't heard that one about a hundred times!" Alright, so he was bluffing. Maybe Greyback was, too.

"Good."

Greyback may have been bluffing, but his claw-like nails certainly weren't.

- - - - - -

Randolf returned home, still out of breath. He'd expected his new bounty to be tough, but he hadn't been prepared for the kind of inhuman strength and animalistic behavior he'd just faced. He'd narrowly escaped (no, he was _not_ a coward) and that was only due to the police squad that had heard the ruckus and come to investigate. Still, there was no doubt in his mind that Greyback would track him down, now that he'd presented himself as an opponent. And it was already dusk, too; Randolf was convinced that Greyback would be more powerful at night.

"Madelyn!" He burst through the door, surprising Remus into a soft yelp.

"Daddy?"

"Where's Mommy?" he nearly bellowed.

"Bed." Remus pointed to the bedroom, looking frightened. "Sorry. I snuck out again."

Randolf barreled into the bedroom, practically hoisting Madelyn out of bed.

"What the-" she muttered, her eyes fluttering open.

"We have to leave," Randolf instructed, placing her on her feet.

"Why?"

"After me- a werewolf- almost night-"

"What?"

"There's no time to explain! Just pack what you can and let's get out of here!"

Randolf was completely unaware that the sun was setting to reveal a crisp, clear night illuminated by a full moon.

- - - - - -

"Alright, we've-"

"Gotta go." Remus was standing on the front lawn, in his pajamas, jumping up and down as he clutched his crotch.

"There's no time," Randolf replied, trying to pull both him and Madelyn away from the house.

"Take him," Madelyn ordered, pointing to the back yard.

"But-"

"_Now_."

"Alright, but you have to get back in the house, and don't come out until I say so. Not for anything, got that?"

"I've got it," she confirmed, walking back inside.

"Let's go," he whispered to Remus, leading the wriggling child out back and presenting him with his usual bush. "Go on."

"Don't look." Remus squirmed.

"Fine!" Randolf turned around, waiting impatiently for Remus to finish; they didn't really have time for this.

"Done."

Randolf was just turning around to pick Remus up when he heard a distinct growling emanate from the trees that stood only a couple of feet away. "Get behind me, Remus."

The boy did what he was told, tightly clutching onto his pant leg.

"Greyback?" he called out, drawing his kodachi. "Greyback, is that you?"

It all happened in a flash; a huge grey wolf came loping at him from his left side and, as he turned to meet the attack, he realized with a stab of horror that it wasn't meant for him. He'd barely realized it as the wolf sank its teeth into Remus' side, tackling him viciously to the ground. Working mostly on instinct, Randolf plunged his sword into the first part of the wolf he could reach; with a yelp, the thing retreated, limping slightly as it bled from the shoulder.

Too late, Randolf realized that the moon was full. "Greyback!" he roared after the monster, although it had already gone. "Remus, are you-" He stopped short as he spotted his son, lying nearly motionless on the ground in a sinisterly glistening pool of blood; the only sign of life about his was his soft, shallow breathing. Shakily, realizing that he'd been awfully stupid, he knelt down and scooped Remus up into his arms.

Randolf knew that he was panicking; it was something that registered vaguely in the back of his mind as he held his bleeding son in his arms. The situation didn't seem entirely real; the werewolf had been driven off, but the damage was done.

"Remus!" Madelyn shrieked, tearing out of the house and dropping to her knees before them.

"I... I don't know what to do," Randolf admitted weakly. "I don't... I can't..." It was the first time that he hadn't been able to protect his family.

"What about that green powder over the fireplace? The stuff that you said was for emergencies?"

"Yeah..." He slowly stood up, carrying Remus, trying to force his mind to work.

"Come on!" She grabbed him by the sleeve of his robes, suppressing a cough as she dragged him into the house. "This powder!" She pointed at the jar over the fireplace, which was alight with a few feeble flames. "What's it for?"

"Emergencies..."

"THIS _IS_ AN EMERGENCY!"

"Right!" The shout had brought him back to reality. "Here, do what I do." He took some of the floo powder, tossed it into the fireplace and at the same time thanked that connection he had at the Ministry, then stepped into the green flames that had suddenly erupted. "St. Mungo's!" he shouted in a clear and forceful voice.

As soon as he stumbled out of one of the service fireplaces at the hospital, he found himself once again lost. He had no idea what to do or where to go amongst all the bustling mediwitches and complaining patients. "Help!" he shouted on instinct. "It's an emergency!"

"Excuse me!" Madelyn had come through behind him and just grabbed ahold of a healer, getting soot all over her impeccably clean robes. "My son is bleeding to death!"

"It's an emergency," Randolf repeated as the healer levitated Remus out of his arms and rushed down the hallway with him.

"Come sit over here," a mediwitch instructed, leading them both to some empty seats in the waiting area. "You'll have to fill out some reports, but first, tell me what happened."

"He was bitten by a werewolf," Randolf replied, his voice sounding rather far away.

"What?" the mediwitch asked sharply. "Were you able to identify the werewolf?"

"Fenrir Greyback," he replied, without hesitation.

"What? It's amazing he's survived this long!" she exclaimed.

Madelyn glared at her.

"Oh... Right. I'll get the paperwork for you."

"He'll be alright," Madelyn reassured him, although it sounded like she was more trying to reassure herself. "He's tough, just like you."

"I'm scared," Randolf admitted. "And I'm sure you are, as well. So... Let's just hold each other, shall we?"

Madelyn seemed to think it a good idea.

- - - - - -

Randolf woke up, blinking his eyes into focus, unaware that he'd fallen asleep in the first place. He was initially unaware of what had awoken him, but then he realized the piercing shrieks of a child in pain were emanating throughout the waiting room. He looked around for the source, spotting a teenaged boy with long blond hair attempting to keep a firm grip on a little boy around Remus' age. "Shut up, shut up!" the teenager kept repeating; he looked rather frightened.

"Can you believe this?" Madelyn shouted over the noise. "It's been hours, and we haven't gotten any word about Remus!"

"At least that means he's alright!" Randolf shouted back; if Remus was in any mortal peril, still, they would have been immediately informed. "What's wrong with that kid?" He pointed at the screaming child, who was now being surrounded by perplexed mediwitches.

"No idea!" Madelyn shouted back. "Just try to ignore it!"

It was rather difficult, though; the way the little boy was screaming made his stomach twist uncomfortably and reminded him painfully of Remus. Besides, there was nothing better to do in a hospital waiting room than eavesdrop.

"Both his legs are broken!" one mediwitch hollered; everyone in the waiting room was listening in.

"I was wondering why they were twisted backwards!" the teenager retorted sarcastically.

"Come with me!" she led them down a nearby hallway, thankfully ridding them of the screaming child.

"LET GO! LET GO!" echoed back to them until, finally, the boy had become inaudible.

"Thank God," Randolf breathed, leaning back in his seat.

"I know," Madelyn replied, pulling at her ears. "My ears are ringing."

"I'm glad Remus isn't that loud." His comment seemed to have caused the somber mood between them to reappear. "He'll be alright," he muttered. "He'll be fine."

"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin?" It was at that moment that the healer who had taken Remus away appeared before them, rubbing at her ears.

"Yes?" Madelyn replied, immediately standing up and dragging Randolf with him.

"Your son looks like he's going to live." The healer didn't sound very cheerful, though. "However, because of the werewolf's bite, he will be..."

"A werewolf," Randolf finished lamely.

"Precisely. Now, I know that this is a difficult time for you, but we must discuss your options."

"Options?" Madelyn repeated, narrowing her eyes.

"There are some very good homes out east for bitten children," the healer informed them.

Randolf winced as Madelyn's grip on his arm became painful.

"They are staffed by very knowledgeable people, in regards to lycanthropy, and the homes are equipped with safe rooms for the nights of the transformation. You'll normally be able to visit once or twice a month-"

"I've heard enough," Madelyn snapped, showing more ferocity than Randolf had ever seen in her. "We are not going to send our son away to some _institution_ where we'll barely be able to see him. He's _our_ son, and we'll raise him ourselves."

"Very well," the healer replied, fishing in her pocket until she'd found a pamphlet. "This has some information you may need." She handed it over, looking grim. "I really can't tell you anything that isn't already there. You may visit your son, now, if you wish."

"Thank you," Madelyn replied stiffly.

After the healer had given them the room number and walked away, Randolf let out a long sigh. "This is all my fault," he told Madelyn. "How the hell am I going to face him?"

"It's not your fault." She rubbed his back as they headed down to Remus' room. "You did your best to protect him."

"Right." Randolf stared at the close door to the ward, unable to go further; there was just something so sinister about it.

"Let's go." Madelyn pulled him inside, leading him down to the end of the ward.

He thought his heart might break, when he saw Remus laying so quietly in the hospital bed, not moving an inch. "...Son?" He took a step closer to the bed, unsure of what to expect. "Remus?"

Suddenly, Remus thrust his hands into the air, startling the both of them. "Ew," was all he said.

"What?" Madelyn murmured, unable to comprehend the behavior.

Randolf was stumped, too, until he realized that Remus hadn't had the chance to wash his hands after his foray into the bushes. "They're clean," he assured Remus, finding it difficult to keep his voice under control.

"Okay," Remus replied, sounding hoarse and weak.

"My baby," Madelyn whispered, her carefully constructed front of total control falling away as she rushed to the bedside and pulled their son into a tight hug. "My baby, my poor baby." She was crying.

"I'm okay," Remus replied, looking confused.

Randolf collapsed into a nearby chair, guilt and shame welling up inside his chest; if it wasn't for him, Remus would still be a normal young boy. If it weren't for him, Remus would still have a chance at going to a proper school and getting a proper job and living the kind of life that Randolf would never be able to give him.

In only a few hours, he'd ruined his son's entire life.


End file.
